today I decide it that I will open myself a bit and after few gardening tips all ready published its time to talk about why and what was the reason start blogging. Just to put you in to the picture my professional background is from Hospitality, I studied collage and finished with one of the best results in whole class. After collage I found job as barman and my carrier started. I love Hospitality and think that this is one of the best jobs ever. Also one with lowest pay unfortunately. How ever after few years I decided to take different direction in my carrier and chose Social Care for young adults with autism, challenging behavior and learning difficulties. Some of you may thinking what a great job.... Don't get me wrong but this job is where all this trouble with my mental health started.
Unsupported by management, physical exhaustion, mental exhaustion, bleeding scratches and bites on daily basis, under staffed homes, working long hours under constant stress. That's how my day to day job looked like. And then injury happened... been kicked by one of the service users to my abdominal area, took me few hours to recover but thought I will be ok.... WRONG, sleepless night, constant worrying, fear, sickness all these symptoms I ignored... After first try I left my work place and found another job in same industry. Social care again. At this time I was thinking that there is something wrong with my mind, feelings and wellbeing in general. At this time I had operation planned to fix my hiatus hernia and acid reflux symptoms. I went for operation and recovered well but decide it that its time to look after myself and found some safe stress free job.
I found one, working in call centre for one of the biggest insurance company. I successfully passed 3 rounds of interview and been offered job. Sounds great isn't it... Well I really wanted to be successful in this job and thought I can do it... Before my starting date I had an experience where I decided go to see my GP. One day I woke up really tired, hopeless feeling like I failed in my career despite my supportive husband I love so very much he did not had a clue about my feelings, I was staying in the bed with curtains shut in the middle of the day, constantly worrying about job, how many angry people I have to speak day by day, being sick every morning when I woke up and know that is time go to work. After GP visit I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression. I was surprised because my attitude was always - this can not happened to me... How wrong I was...
I been recommended to start treatment with Sertraline 50mg antidepressants, at that time I wasn't sure if I want to start taking antidepressants as I watched many videos about people who were not well, read articles saying that antidepressants are bad, or the opposite that they are amazing. Just remember antidepressants are not cure, they are short term to empower you to fight this horrible condition. Despite my feeling I decided to not to start course of antidepressants and try counseling session first. I will make separate blog about Psychological Therapy run by NHS.
I would like to advise you all that if you feel worried, anxious, not bothered to do stuff you used to like, your thoughts in your head are not stopping, feeling stressed, feeling sick, constantly tired, sleepless etc. Just stop, sit down and have a think. Anxiety and Depression is illness, illness that could have significant impact on your life and life of others. Don't feel ashamed, or shy go to your GP they there to help you and find the best solution for you. I am doing very well and will make another couple of blogs about my journey thru this dark world of depression and anxiety.
Guys you take care and see you soon. Jerry